21'st!

Things to get

-Super awesome camera.
-Silver fern tattoo somewhere ( shoulderblade )
-Makers mark bourbon.

Moving

I have been offered a room in welly at $140 a week. That is DAMN cheap at the position of the flat and also a fairly large room with 2 people that I know and everyone else i get along with. I'd be a fool to not take it.

Something is holding me back though... what is it?
It could be ANYTHING here in the flat, or could be Upper Hut in general?

I think the bed problem is just an excuse to not move.

This needs a push IMO.

As time past on

The breath of death

I can't help but sit here at the computer all tense in my shoulders.

I can't ask someone to massage them as they want one in return because of the feeling.

My back aches and I can't focus on my activities.

Everything I planned is now stopped and no one has the same motivation that i have to continue it.

I'm so stressed and just can't relax.

Only thing that relaxes me at this time is either a passionate kiss or a breath of death.

Possession

I watched a movie the other night called 'Easy A' which is about a girl that starts lies up on accident that eventually turns her into the school prostitute figuratively. It got me thinking about how much we actually change due to someone else's effect on us causing us to change aspects of us to fit in with their lifestyle.

Some things change us without warning and other things WILL change without us knowing until we see how pointless it actually is and how unhappy it makes us. One of my very own aspects that did make me temporarily happy was travelling a lot to spent a few hours with someone.

• Are these changes actually necessary?
• Is temporary happiness worth it?

Well from what most people would know about me is that I do dwell on the past. I DO miss the good times I once had, and no I do not regret them, I just regret the way things ended and that they didn't last as long as I hoped they did.

These changes that were made, were made for the best at the time, but the long term effect is certainly not worth it when I think about it.

• So who are we really?
• Do we really know who we are?
• Or will we EVER know who we are or will we need someone to tell us?

Ass hole to ass hole

Tears of sorrow

"The sound of a tear drop, is louder than any word that can be expressed."

Don't cry for the wrong reason

Patience and hard to get.

Explain this to me how a woman is hard to get... but if i were patient then they would get IMpatient... hm... this doesn't make sense to me...

The smile of an angel

*sigh*

I still look back at and wonder what would of happened if that week had never ended...

Your soul is still as beautiful as it was when I met you.

Emotional Intelligence

http://www.talentsmart.com/services/keynotes.php

This guy is a fucken genius, it's amazing how much you can get done without any emotional attachments!

Living life to the full

Now this is something I seem to recall from a previous partner of mine of being what they do. Living Life to the full can be done in MANY ways, but the outcome is only what determined of what you do TO live your life to the fullest it can be.

This is something that has been swimming through my mind for a very long time on how I would go about doing this as I admired this direction that she took. Her way of doing this is to spend as much time as possible having fun with friends and adventuring around the city is a way to kill time in my opinion as opposed to living life to the fullest.

If you were to live your life to the fullest you can POSSIBLY attempt, this is done by finding your highest passion and shooting for it. NO MATTER how great it is or how much it will scare you to get there, or even how much change it will effect you, it will all pay off in the end and eventually you will lift off the ground and stop focusing on things that don't really matter to you until they are absolutely required.

Last year I was under the delusion that drinking, meeting people in a random flat, having great sex every week and doing nothing but having fun with friends was the way to live life higher than ever before. I now know that although those memories are NOT wasted or regretting, they aren't what i should have been doing as what it was just a distraction from doing what I most want to do.

As I am now at 5 months celibate and may try and push for 12. I now know that spending those days and nights wishing to get laid as well as trying to find someone to do this with, it was all completely a waste of time and will NOT benefit me in the long run. Although I still wish the same thing, its not among ANY of my priority's and instead i will focus on my job, my hobby, and learning as much as I can, while I can.

Living life to the fullest?
I'm sure the offer I was just received will benefit this MUCH further than finding a girlfriend with a high chance for it to last longer than a month.

! BAM !

Time for humor.

Right before your eyes

And i couldn't be more excited about it.

Famous crush???

I actually have a famous crush... wtf??



*sigh...* Her personality is so awesome... so gorgeous too...