Since i can remember, i have had the feeling like i am unable to look at someone at the same time they are looking at me, speak in a way that can flatter them into liking me more than they should or even hug them without having the feeling I'm cheating on someone.
These past 12 months or so have given me a reason to not do any of the above. I have no had any second thoughts to do any of them intentionally at all which is probably one of the best things about me when it comes to being in a relationship with someone.
I keep having these thoughts as if, I'm doing it because i may be waiting for someone to talk to me, I'm waiting to get to know people before using their image as my lust before using their personality as my desire. This may sound like me, but why would i do this to everyone that i meet where they could be the ones staring at me in the first place?
Perhaps i still have my shyness when encountering people i don't know. This could be something that i need to sort out if i want to make some more friends or get to know more people at least without being stuck with the ones i have now driving them insane.
Although my friends may love me enough to put up with my stupidity, i may need to have times where i can cope on my own then spent time with certain people without having them think I'm being clingy or just plain annoying which i have experienced many many times.
When it comes to flirting, i am obviously not your most typical human being that will do anything in their power to make the victim realize you fancy them. I do have the need to do it from time to time but the way i do it isn't by showing off, staring or getting into conversations; it's by becoming their friend then being their for them at the most desperate times. If they can't see it then why should i bother being myself?
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